R.I.P. Buxom

My friend Bree Reed closed Buxom, her beautiful boutique dedicated to plus size clothing, last week in Denver.  She had been open nearly two years, and was motivated in part, like me, to provide a place where women could find stylish clothing that framed and highlighted their beauty, rather than hid it.

I “met” Bree just a year ago, when she reached out to me after seeing me and Bombshell on Facebook.  We laughed and lamented for over an hour the first time we talked about the business we were in, and all the crazy contradictions it contains.  We were amazed at how many eerily similar experiences we had in common.  Our least favorite was when a woman faced herself in an absolutely stunning outfit in the mirror, and she chose to ignore the overwhelming evidence that she looked beautiful, instead focusing on one body part she “hated”  (it pains me even to type that, let alone hear a woman say it out loud).

Bree often joked with me that she herself was a victim of body image issues, but in the reverse:  “I think I look hot in everything!  Maybe I don’t!”  I have seen photos of Bree and yes, she is one fabulous babe.  Like me, Bree knows that good self-esteem is a process, that it takes effort every day, that you’re never “done” with it.  Some days we feel better than others, but we always make the effort to act as if we feel and look terrific whether we do or not.

We talked about how as “niche” boutique owners, we have it coming at us from both sides.  Plus size women say they want more choices, but then don’t buy the unique things we carry in our shops.  Clothing manufacturers don’t carry a plus line, or stop making plus sizes, because women aren’t buying their clothes.

Plus size women complain all the time that they don’t have enough choices.  “Why doesn’t (fill  in your favorite here:  Chanel, Marc Jacobs, Givenchy, etc.) make clothes for me?  I would buy it if they made it.”  Unfortunately, the evidence is to the contrary.  Anna Scholz sells true designer plus size clothing, (and has for sixteen years), yet many of the women that Bree and I see in our shops will not purchase a three hundred dollar dress from Anna.  Are these women really going to buy a Chanel jacket for three thousand dollars?  The fashion industry doesn’t think so.  It’s the chicken and the egg:  if they don’t make it, we can’t buy it, but if we don’t buy it, they’ll stop making it.

There are, by conservative estimate, twenty-two thousand women’s boutiques in the United States.  Less than ten of them are dedicated to plus size clothing.  That’s far less than one percent of boutiques, yet half of U.S. women wear a size fourteen and above.  The numbers don’t add up and it’s an uphill battle for any boutique, let alone one dedicated to plus sizes, to be successful.  Here’s another sad but illuminating fact:  the largest plus size clothing retailer is . . . What’s your guess?  Lane Bryant, maybe?  Macy’s?  Lands End?  Granted, these are all major companies, so I know that a boutique is not in the same league, but still.

The largest plus size clothing retailer is Walmart.  Walmart!  If you’re shopping for clothing at Walmart, you are not going to purchase clothing in a boutique.  Not only can we not compete on price with Walmart, but more importantly, we can’t compete with a belief that you don’t deserve beautiful, well-fitting and well-made clothing that is stylish and fabulous.

Bree has many fans, and lots of women felt like a million bucks after shopping at Buxom.  Many women told Bree, as they tell me, “I’m just glad to know you’re here,” and “You have such beautiful things in your shop,” and “When I have a special occasion, I’ll know where to shop.”  I know they mean well, but Bree couldn’t pay her rent with compliments (we wish!).  She couldn’t remain open if women regarded her shop as a place to come in and try clothes on, but purchase them elsewhere (like online).  Honestly, shops are supported or not by their communities, and support has to be financial.

It’s hard to see Buxom close.  Although Denver is nowhere near St. Paul, I feel a sisterhood with Bree and Buxom, and it’s a sobering moment for me and Bombshell.  Bree is a force of nature and we’ve not heard the last of her.  But Buxom is no more.  So our miniscule numbers are even smaller, and there’s one less place that expanded the definition of beauty beyond its current restrictive parameters of white, young, thin, and able-bodied.  Beauty is so much more than that, no matter what the magazines say.  Beauty is our birthright, and beauty is to be found everywhere.  Beauty is bigger than that.